Izzy Waite
As Valentine's Day approaches, it's hard to not get caught up in the whirlwind of
emotions it often brings. Whether you’re single or have a significant other, or are somewhere in between, the expectations that Valentine’s day brings can have significant consequences.
You’re expected to take someone out to dinner, to accept someone’s invitation on a date, you have worries about what comes afterwards, or you’re feeling alone when everyone has plans and you don't. Regardless, Valentine’s Day should be a fun day to celebrate the love you have for other people, whether that be your family, your friends, or a significant other. Unfortunately, recently it's been feeling like Valentine’s Day has become a day to celebrate lust rather than love.
One of the most problematic things that happen as a result of Valentine’s day is the
expectation to pay someone back for taking you on a date or giving you a gift. Although gifts are supposed to be a representation of someone’s feelings, or at least an indication that someone was thinking about you, on Valentine’s Day, the act of giving someone a gift can leave them feeling worried that they need to somehow repay you. Sometimes, when the gifts are that of a sexual nature, there is a pressure for the recipient to pay back the gift giver in other ways, even if they don’t necessarily want to.
These expectations make it hard for people to know when someone is acting out of true affection, or if they are just pretending to care about a person for their own personal gain. It can create walls between a couple and can cause insecurities. This is partially why Valentine’s day can make people feel even more stressed than it has in the past.
It’s unfair that people are put in this position to begin with, but the sad truth is that it does happen, and so it is important to remember that no matter how pressured you feel, there is no need to repay someone with sexual favours. If someone that you are spending Valentine’s Day, or any other day, with makes you feel pressured, then that is something that should weigh on their conscience and not yours.
If Valentine’s Day leaves you feeling pressured, spending it by yourself is also okay. Self
love is important and you can spend that day making time for yourself to do things you always want to do but can’t find time for it and not worrying about other people. On the other hand, it is understandable that this day can be hard for people to spend by themselves. In that case, you can spend it with a friend to celebrate your friendship. We all have people in our lives that we love and feel deeply grateful for, Valentine's Day can be a day for those important people in our lives.
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