Jenna Lubsen
The female orgasm has become something of a societal legend and jokes amongst peers, being able to make a person with a vagina finish is thought to be some feat that is deserving of praise. Such a generous act that should be rewarded, despite a male orgasm being thought of as a requirement, a standard that sex revolves around. Whether this standard is something that stems from arbitrary ideas of sex formed from porn or word of mouth, is idea is reinforced by the myth of blue balls. On that notes, I would like to remind everyone that blue balls is strictly a myth and not at all based on physiological or anatomical accuracy. It is however a physiological fact that at the most sensitive part of the penis there are 4000 nerve endings, the clitoris has 8000. So why do women and others with vaginas experience so few orgasms?
If a women gives a bad hand job or a less than wildly enthusiastic blow job then they have no idea what their doing and are bad at sex. But when a man can't make a women remotely close to finishing, it's normal. The amount of knowledge women are expected to have about the male body is extensive, men seem to have no such obligation to women.
So why has the female orgasm become some elusive act that is somehow deemed to be less important to the sex act than a male orgasm? I saw a TikTok recently of a guy explaining that because a female orgasm is not required to conceive a child and a male orgasm is, God did not intend for women to have orgasms. That is God created men and women with the idea in mind that heterosexual sex is strictly for becoming pregnant, than sex is not for the women. Disgusting, obviously, but this so strongly emphasizes that there are people out there that believe the female orgasm is nothing but an inconvenient expectation that women hold.
Despite all the assumptions and strings of jokes that surrounding the conversation of male and female orgasm, everyone deserves to finish. It's important to ask your partners how their feeling and what they like along the way, much like when asking for consent. If you make sure to do this it can be a lot less overwhelming and ensure that all parties are feeling good. Expectations surrounding sex don't have to be something daunting and anxious, they can be used as a guide to get everyone where they need to be. So next time things are heating up, don't stray away from communication, asking questions and giving suggestions because theres no shame is wanting to and wanting your partner to orgasm.
It's also important to talk about the fact that we don't need to have sex to orgasm. Female masterbation has developed a series of taboo's around it that can make anyone feel nervous to masterbate or to talk about it. Male masterbation is accepted and generally encouraged, whereas female masterbation is looked down upon and discouraged. Another example of female sexuality being shamed while men are praised for it. Getting to know what you like is another important part of having great sexual experiences with others. It's hard to communicate to someone else what you need when your not sure yourself. There's no reason to be embarrassed about something everyone does, and something that can be helpful later on. Getting to know yourself is great for you and your current and/or future partners. So lets quash the taboo nature of sex, orgasm and masterbation so we can all just cum already.
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