Danielle Shankman
Content Warning: This article contains details surrounding sexual assault and sexual harassment.
TikTok remains to be a highly influential social media platform among young adults after its emergence in 2019. One of the major aspects of the app allows for everyday individuals to have a claim to fame, and for some lucky ones, it allows for them to become social media influencers (i.e. Charlie D'Amelio). Within the past few months “drama” has been brewing between two TikTok favourites, Jack Wright and Sienna Mae Gomez (@jack.wright, @siennamae). Jack became famous for his dance videos and Sienna for her body positivity TikToks. The two often created content together and were presumed to be close friends or possibly more. This drama, which was subsequently followed by many rumours, all erupted recently into a heartbreaking conflict with an even more shocking public opinion.
A few months ago the two unfollowed each other on many social media platforms and soon after friends of Jack posted on twitter sexual assault allegations against Sienna. These allegations followed with a video of Jack blackout drunk and Sienna climbing on top of him to grope him. While Jack’s friends stood up for Jack, he remained silent surrounding this issue. However, Sienna took to her youtube channel and TikTok account to announce that all the allegations were false and that his friends were simply trying to “cancel her”. Many who witnessed all of this took to the comment sections or their own accounts to state their opinions on the matter. The public opinion predominantly took Sienna’s side, suggesting that as a good looking girl how could Jack not want to hook up with her. Or suggesting that because they posted some flirty dance videos that they would have already had a sexual relationship. Everyones feeds including my own were bombarded with the scandal, and Jack sought to ignore everyone's opinions and go on continuing to make his normal content. Sienna endured no repercussions during this time and her platform and following remained as is.
However, on January 20th of this year, Jack finally after having time to process and deal with such a personal issue under the spotlight, released a video entitled “What Sienna Mae Did To Me”. The video exhibited a tearful Jack as he recounted his experience with Sienna Mae and the many incidents of sexual assault and discomfort he endured at her hand. There were countless incidents of her forcing herself on him, touching him while he was asleep or passed out drunk as well as even times where she stalked him and broke into his house. Jack throughout this entire situation was scrutinized for remaining silent until he had the courage to speak up. He was accused of trying to ruin Sienna’s life and career when in reality he was simply processing an atrocity committed against him.
For the many months that Jack remained silent, why did the world automatically side with Sienna, even with visual evidence that the public attempted to dissect and defend? What I ask you is how might this circumstance have turned out if perhaps the roles were reversed or possibly if Sienna was not conventionally attractive. I can wholeheartedly tell you that the reasoning that the odds were against Jack was not at the fault of misinformation, but rather a culture that perpetuates stigmatization around male sexual assault victims.
He, as a man, was expected to want her. To never turn down a sexual advance of an attractive woman. To be overjoyed rather than discomforted when she “made the first move”. Rape culture does not end with women. Due to the imbalanced distribution of victims typically being female and their perpetrator's men, men who are sexually assaulted by women are alienated and disregarded. For months Jack had to endure a community that turned against and judged him, they insisted that his feelings were invalid. This unfortunately is the case for many men in these situations. Men's sexual assault is met with connotations of them being weak, emotionally fragile and feminine. The toxic masculinity surrounding this behaviour as well as the stereotypical male roles in our society have worked against aiding men who undergo assault, especially if it's committed by a woman. These systems of confinement and oppression for men to never appear vulnerable are destructive to the mental health and wellbeing of men.
I feel that this vile culture is closer than our screens and affects the men in our daily life just as prominently as it affects the women in our lives. Pay attention to your guy friend's drunk passed out on a couch. Pay attention to the girls who choose to make sexual advances with men who cannot consent or outright out do not consent. Being forward is not an excuse for engaging in nonconsensual sexual activity. In no way did the relationship between Jack and Sienna invite Sienna's behaviour.
People are so quick to ostracize men who sexually assault women, which is completely encouraged. Yet why is the public so hesitant to give that same energy to female perpetrators. Men's experiences with sexual assault need to be held to the same standard and recognized with the same degree of horror as any other sexual assault regardless of the appearances of the individuals involved. This culture is what encourages men's silence and keeps women like Sienna free to continue making cringy content on TikTok and continue assaulting men. Sienna Mae is a criminal and I stand by Jack Wright and any other man she sexually assaulted as well as any man in a circumstance likened to this.
If you or anyone you know is or has been effected by sexual assault, below are resources that may be found helpful.
SAC Kingston (Sexual Assault Centre)
Phone: 1-877-544-6424. Available 24 hours Crisis Support.
Email: sack@sackingston.com
Located at 400 Elliott Avenue, Unit 1 (Rockcliffe Plaza) Kingston, Ontario, Canada.
Queen's University Sexual Violence Prevention and Response Coordinator, Barb Lotan.
Barb Lotan can aid in the healing process and assess potential next steps.
Email: bjl7@queensu.ca
Office Located at B502 Mackintosh-Corry Hall, Human Rights & Equity hallway.
Kingston Police (Non-Emergency Line)
Phone: (613) 549-4660
**In the event of an emergency always call 911 immediately or if on campus locate an emergency blue light.
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