Eliza Bennet
It takes a lot of courage to ask for help, especially when you feel like no one will understand your problems. It takes even more courage when you are experiencing intrusive thoughts and anxiety. Nonetheless, everyday dozens of university students brave the chaos of campus to find help for various mental and physical health issues. Unfortunately, the majority of the time, they are met with dismissive remarks that seldom help the problem and might do more harm than good. I have personally fell victim to this disheartening experience and would like to share my story.
To provide some context, you should know that I am clinically depressed. I have been on antidepressants for almost two years. During my second year of university, being away from my family, worrying about rent and groceries while still keeping up with schoolwork, it all became too much. I’d call my parents almost every day in tears. Finally, my mom suggested I go and see a counsellor. So, I gathered my strength to call Student Wellness Services and make an appointment. Thankfully, I was able to come in and see a counsellor - in 3 weeks’ time. Three excruciating weeks later, I found myself sitting on a musty couch in a small office. There were posters on the walls that said, ‘Mindfulness and Self-Care Workshops’ and ‘How to De-Stress during Exam Season’. And while all of those could be helpful to some people, they weren’t exactly what I was looking for. As I’m sitting there waiting for the counsellor to come, finally, an older man walks in and greets me.
We start our session, like any session of therapy starts, with small talk and niceties before we dive into the deep stuff. He asks me why I’m here. I start from the beginning, which is too long to detail in this post. At the end of my saga, he turns to me, furrowing his eyebrows and sighing deeply. I’m sitting there, teary eyed but hopeful that this highly competent adult will bless me with some all-curing words of wisdom. In hindsight, this was maybe a little too optimistic for a 30-minute therapy session. Nevertheless, he smiles and says, “Have you tried any self-care techniques?”. Okay…not what I was hoping to hear but let’s see where this goes. “Sometimes, but not really” I say. He responds with “I really think you should try some, it could help you relax. Have you tried treating yourself to some chocolate?” I stopped listening after that. For the rest of the session, I just nodded and smiled until our time was up. I walked away from the Student Wellness Centre, angry, disheartened, and still depressed.
I am not the only person who was been let down by health professionals. There are endless accounts of students of all genders who have had disappointing experiences with therapy.
The downplaying of health issues whether mental or physical, especially in women, is a rampant issue in our society today. Women and young girls are often told to “do yoga” or “meditate” to treat their very real problems. What’s more, 4 out of 5 female sexual assault survivors suffer from mental illnesses stemming from their attacks. How is chocolate and self-care going to cure the PTSD that these women and girls suffer from every day? The gender biases prevalent in the health care industry are severely harmful to the way which patients come to accept their own illnesses and affects their ability and desire to further seek out help from other practitioners.
I realize that it is difficult to speak up for yourself against a professional adult who has been trained in a field you know little about. But I urge everyone to practice self-advocacy and seek a second opinion when you feel that a doctor’s or another medical professional’s diagnosis is wrong or limiting. If I could go back to that moment in the counsellor’s office, I would tell myself not to just sit there and accept his misdiagnosis, but to stand up and say, “Something is wrong, and no amount of chocolate will help me”.
Comments